Mel sent me this one
In an ancient monastery, a new monk arrived to dedicate his life and to
join the others copying ancient records. The first thing he noticed was
that they were copying by hand, books that had already been copied by hand.
He had to speak up. "Forgive me, Father Justinian, but copying other
copies by hand allows many chances for error. How do we know we aren't
copying someone else's mistakes? Are they ever checked against the
Father Justinian was startled! No one had ever suggested that before.
"Well, that is a good point, my son. I will take one of these latest books
down to the vault and study it against its original document."
He went deep into the vault where no one else was allowed to enter, and
started to study. The day passed, and it was getting late in the evening.
The monks were getting worried about Father Justinian. Finally one monk
started making his way through the old vault, and as he began to think he
might get lost, he heard sobbing. "Father Justinian?" He called.
The sobbing was louder as he came near. He finally found the old priest
sitting at a table with both the new copy and the original ancient book in
front of him. It was obvious that Father Justinian had been crying for a
"Oh, my Lord," sobbed Father Justinian, "the word is 'celebrate'!!"
Another from Hans but I changed it a little
After nearly forty years in practice as a Proctologist, John
decided he had enough money to retire and take up his real love,
auto mechanics. He left his practice, enrolled in auto mechanics
school, and studied hard. The day of the final exam came and John
worried if he would be able to complete the test with the same
proficiency as his younger classmates. Most of the students
completed their exam in two hours. John, on the other hand, took
the entire four hours allotted. John tossed and turned in bed
that night, dreading the next morning when the exam scores would
The following day, John was delighted and surprised to see a
score of 150% for his exam.
John spoke to his professor after class. "I never dreamed I could
do this well on the exam. But tell me, how did I earn a score of
The professor replied, "I gave you 50% for perfectly
disassembling the car engine. I awarded another 50% for perfectly
reassembling the engine. I gave you an additional 50% for having
done all of it through the tail pipe."